Tuesday, October 13, 2015
If only I could quote the rest of the song, I think we'd all be better for it. Not only is the song the best thing about the movie, it perfectly summarizes the plot of Zombeavers, covering every major plot point in a fraction of the time and with substantially more wit. What? You thought that line about the girlfriend chewing on balls was just thrown in for giggles?
A review of Zombeavers is pointless. The concept is so thin, so stupid, you'll either find it hysterical or you won't. It takes all the cliches and plot points of college kids going off to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of debauchery and running into monsters and throws in one of the strangest of monsters: zombie beavers. Beavers turned into zombie by toxic waste. Why zombie beavers as opposed to, I don't know, any other animal? So they could call the movie Zombeavers, I guess.
All this kind of funny but not enough for a recommendation. In a movie this short, not even scraping the 80-minute mark, it's an awful long time before the zombeavers go on their rampage and start eating people. Before that, it's a lot of boring relationship drama and obnoxious characters getting drunk and saying and doing the outrageous things that college kids do (an old neighbor has a hilarious line about, "It's probably those college kids scissoring each other to that Lady Gaga music."). It's like get on with it; I want to see the zombeavers.